Maybe I’ve been pushing myself a bit too hard lately. Maybe I just wanted to get things done, to finish earlier, to go home as soon as possible. Well, whatever the reasons are, the last few days do not work as expected. I started everything, but did not finish anything. I did try to enjoy what I was working on, but at times, it’s really depressing when your code does not work, or the book chapters that you need to read only seem to get thicker. Well, I know I shouldn’t take it too seriously, it’s *only* course assignments (beh, only). I mean, there’s more to life than those assignments that aren’t due until 2 months from now.

All of this reminds me of the times when I learn something just for the sake of fulfilling my curiosity, without the obligation to pass an exam or to follow more than what I care about. The time when, if I don’t understand a part, I can just skip it and move on to the exciting parts. There’s this very interesting book I’m reading now (borrowed from the library), that best describes what I feel about what learning is supposed to be:

Dirichlet, though, was more than happy to battle with one tough paragraph after another. At night he would place the book under his pillow in the hope that the next morning’s reading would suddenly make sense.

Marcus du Sautoy – The Music of the Primes

Maybe I just need a break. Maybe today I will close my text editor and shut down my computer, and read about prime numbers and place the book under my pillow.