A few days ago Bu Mia told me she was reading my old posts in this blog, which made me read those posts too. Some of them made me laugh at myself. Some of them made me feel kind of sad.

I mean, this post about broken sandals? I remember those days too well. And I just wonder, if my sandals happen to be broken now, can I write a rather cheerful post about it? I don't know, probably not. I would be too upset and too busy looking for a pair of the new ones to even see the funny side.

I wonder if I have become that old and serious.

Reading my old posts made me read some of my friends old posts too, which is probably not a wise thing to do tonight. I have to work tomorrow and it's 9.30 pm and anyone who knows me knows that I will have a really bad mood next morning because of my lack of sleep.

I don't know. I kind of question every decision I've made. And whether I can still change a thing. And how I should know if I've made the right ones. How do you know? I'm not sure about anything anymore. I'm kind of lonely and left out and miss those days. I don't care if this post means I complain a lot. I'm sleepy and I'm sad and I don't want to go to bed being this sad.

Well, things changed. Somewhere along the road I lost my sense of humour. And my logic. And that costs me a lot. Too many conflicts, too many heartbreaks. I want to go to Malta and leave this all behind. Start over.